DIRECTOR DEAD!
The General Director of Science and Technology has been declared dead by Intendant Don Juan of Persia, King Manoel I, and King Luis I.
Official statements:
"Either Tristin is stupid and his gunpowder didn't do gunpowder things and he's fine, or Tristin is stupid and his gunpowder did gunpowder things and he blew up; either way Tristin is stupid."
-King Luis I.
"He blew up [...] He deserved it anyways; I'm glad he did it"
-King Manoel I
"Holy fucking dumbass [...] Nobody can check on him, since I’m in Mexico"
-Intendant Don Juan of Persia
The official obituary reports that (Officially) Tristin Oswell Maximiliano Federico Enrique Wolfgang Schmittenschlager Robespierre Desmoulins died on September 21st of 2024 by microwave explosion:
DIRECTOR DEAD
Canadian Legal Name: *censored*
Hesperian Legal Name: Tristin Oswell Maximiliano
Federico Enrique Wolfgang Schmittenschlager Robespierre Desmoulins
Date of Death: 21/09/2024
Reason for Death: Microwave Explosion
Damn shame, at least he died doing what he loved
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